Lawn Ornaments

So for the last couple of weeks I got to go down to the town of Ft. Washington, PA. I was driving around the local neighborhood after work, looking for deer to run into on my free time, when my GPS decides to completely crap out on me, and bring me to a closed road. Fine, whatever, it's not the first time technology did exactly the opposite it was supposed to do. So after I reprogrammed the screen to play Entourage episodes that I havent seen yet, I decided to make a U-turn and attempt to retrace my steps. I pull into the driveway of a home to make said U-turn, and BAM

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

After initially having 3 heart attacks and pancaking the dog that came running after my car while I was trying to back the fuck out, I realized that what I had initially thought was a 18th century poltergeist that was going to burn me to death with a lantern, was a PLASTIC JOCKEY. I subseqently went into a bout of rage, killing thousands of various cute kittens, furry puppies, and cuddly koala bears.

Fun Fact: Did you know people actually buy this shit?

IT GIVES NIGHTMARES.