Tiny Dogs

With living in the city, one of the main things you'll have to deal with are tiny dogs. Tiny dogs that by any sense of evolution or general laws of nature would never allow to exist.

Tiny dog? Oh coo...OMG WHY DOES IT HAVE NO FUR AND WHY IS IT BLIND

Seriously? wtf? These things are not cute. I routinely see rodents in the subway stations that are far more cuddly and less abhorrent to the eyes than that. And with all those clothes and other shit you put on it? To quote Dale from the bestest show on television (Top Chef)- "It's just like dressing up a turd at that point."

And nothing gets to me more than a guy walking one of these things around the city. I guess if you're that desperate for female attention you'd do anything right? At least you're really comfortable with your sexuality... whichever one that would be.

1000000000% not gay.
not that there's anything wrong with it.

There is only solace given in the fact that if you ever leave a soccer ball at home while you're at the park, you can just scoop one of these from the street and kick it around. Extra kudos to the goalie who potentially has to use his hands to handle the thing.